seeing myself as someone else or not

I am not sure what I look like or what I should look like or what “look like” means. It’s very confusing. Here’s an attempt at a self-portrait. I am on the phone looking out the window but it’s dark outside so I see my reflection. I try to get the camera to focus on my reflection which causes the blinds to be out of focus because that’s what we think a camera should do. My eyes actually keep all of it in focus. The photo is such a liar.